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This feeling

Today I for the first time thought: Wow what is that? You were sitting next to me. Smelling the way you usually do. But something was different. We talked as usual. Laughed as usual. But looking into your pretty brown eyes was warming me up from the inside. There was a kind of prickle in my tummy. But what is that?

We have been friends quite long. You let me sit on your lap like it was the most normal thing in the world. We would drink together and keep an eye on each other. Nothing ever happened! But now... You touched me more often than usual. Your hand on my shoulder. your hand on my eg. your head on mine. our foreheads leaning against each others. you talking to me. It was new. Something special? Me listening to your music. Usually not a big deal but today my heart made a skip. Your secret looks at me. I noticed s´´them. No one else did but me. Strange I thought. It has never been that way before. But does that even mean something? You were there for me when I was at my worse and now...we are hanging out tomorrow..Might be an awesome day. But hopefully it won't be awkward.

On tghe other hand this can all not be right. I saw the guy from Saturday coming out of his garage this morning when driving to school. I smiled. I was happy to know him and all the sudden I thought back to saturday night. Something great had happened between us. We moved up to a whole new level. What kind of level I don't know. I just know that we agreed on staying friends. Nothing will change. We will stay friends... Talk like we used to. And the others will whisper as always. But now I'll think: If you would know what happened between us.

oh and then there is my ex..Talking to my mom when he can be there to drink a cup of coffee. And I have to be gone. I'd like to punch him in the face! This is my family! Not his and I don't care how broken his family is. We're done. so why can't he just be a nice guy who I once loved and that will stay in my memory but not appear at MY house all the time!


30.4.14 15:25

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